


Shananigans and other Tales

by honekitteh



Series: Come What May [3]
Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic (Video Game)
Genre: Cross-Posted on Tumblr, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-02
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2020-11-15 08:07:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 19,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20862965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honekitteh/pseuds/honekitteh
Summary: Series of prompts from Fictober 2019





	1. "It will be fun, trust me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timeline Setting: During Forged Alliances - Between Assault on Tython and Manaan

“It will be fun, trust me,” he had told me about an hour before as he offered his hand to me as he sat on his speeder.

I’d never been to a street festival on Coruscant. The district was packed full of various people, aliens, in each of their own personal culture’s formal dress. I felt horribly under-dressed as I simply wore what I always had for most missions since the Force had led me to Nar Shaddaa. It was fairly simple, a white cropped wrap shirt with hood, white pants with belt, red accenting the outfit, a few belts for accent on my arms. I scratched the back of my neck, taking in the surroundings as Theron had asked me to wait here. 

What was I doing? Following a spy, well I assume he was a spy as that is typically what the SIS is, but good spies typically don’t readily announce themselves to new people as spies. But here I was, awaiting Theron Shan to come back with something he was very certain I would enjoy. When we both could be doing some work for the Republic, helping out with the war. 

Though if I’m honest, I had a few hours off, with nothing planned. Doc kept telling me I needed to get out more. Though I’m highly confident he meant with him and not Agent Shan.

The sights and sounds of this festival was a bit overwhelming though. I could feel everything and everyone there in the Force, but thankfully it was like a bit removed from the devastation and hopelessness of the war. I wondered in part, if this was part of the point. Maybe in a way, this small festival of food, games, and fun is to help remind us what we fight for. 

I rubbed my arms slightly, frowning as a draft of wind caught me. I was far enough away from the crowd to get the full brunt of it. 

“Master Jedi?” 

I blinked up and Theron was standing in front of me, holding a couple small paper dishes. Inside was a round pancake shaped but very thin piece of starchy item that had a pile of meat and veggies in it. It seemed like it was meant to be hand held as opposed to with any utensils. 

Apparently, the expression on my face made Theron laugh. “Have you never seen a taco before?” 

“A what?” 

He just handed it to me and I stared down at him, looking back up to him and watched him eat the one he’d gotten for himself. I mimicked his motions and then stared at it again after taking the first bite. 

He smirked at me. “You like?” 

“A taco,” I stated and munched the rest down. 

“Wait till you try some of the other things they have here.”


	2. “Just follow me, I know the area.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timeline Setting: During Forged Alliances - Immediately following "It will be fun, trust me."

“Wait til you try some of the other things they have here.” 

I just stared at him; my eyes wide. Something twinkled behind his eyes in reaction and I felt my heart race. Blinking for a bit I responded, “There’s more?” 

“Oh of course. Here, just follow me, I know the area.” He had reached his hand out to me again, which I took with a great deal less reluctance than I had before. I still wasn’t entirely sure what I was doing, but that taco was amazing. It’s like a whole new galaxy had opened up to me. 

It did take a great deal of internal meditation techniques to push away the sensation of the fact my hand was being held as I was led through the maze of people. He led me to a long row of stands and motioned to each stand with his free hand. 

“There’s the taco stand. They have numerous different combinations of meat. What I had given you earlier was a guess. Guess it’s a good thing you’re not a vegetarian.” 

I laughed. “Yeah… no. Not a vegetarian. You did good. Gorak meat?” 

He nodded and motioned towards another stand. “There are some of the best dumplings I’ve ever had in town. I know where their storefront is but it’s a few districts over.” 

“You get them a lot?” 

“Well, whenever I can. Might know one of the chefs.” There was a slightly unreadable expression that crossed his face, one that tempted me to take a poke with the Force. But I didn’t. He continued with almost an afterthought, “Though he might not want to see me now.” 

I raised an eyebrow at that, though I took in the sights of the different stands. 

Theron quickly moved on. “This other one has a noodle soup. I’ve not tried it but I’ve heard good things. Another one over here has just large roasted gorak legs. And here has some kind of cheesy noodles on a stick. Don’t ask me why they deep fried it and put it on a stick. It’s really good.” 

I just stared at everything, my eyes wide. “So many options.” 

“That’s kind of the point of a street festival.” 

“Do you have a suggestion?” 

“The dumplings. Definitely,” he looked over at the stand then frowned slightly, “Though, maybe you should go see what they have and bring them back.” 

I raised an eyebrow at him and looked over at the stand. A green-skinned man, tattoos adorning the bridge of his nose, fairly well built and well-dressed was working the stand. He didn’t look too much older than either of us. “Alright, but…” 

“Hm?” 

“You need to let go of my hand.” 

He blinked and looked down at his hand in mine then let go of it quickly and scratched the back of his neck. “Oh. Sorry about that. Didn’t want you to get lost. It’s a bit of a maze.” 

“Right of course. Any preferences?” 

“Surprise me,” he said with a wink.


	3. "Now? Now you listen to me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timeline Setting: During Rise of the Emperor - Upcoming content for "Countdown"

The Chancellor of the Republic turned to me on the holo. I had zoned out at some point, my headache pounding. What she was saying was nothing different than what she had said when I tried to talk with her from the People’s Tower in New Adasta. Before Vitiate had consumed all life on this world. I started to zone back in as she repeated, “I have questions for you. What were these possessions?”

“Now? Now you listen to me?”

Both Saresh and Master Satele startled at my outburst. I’m sure they weren’t quite prepared for a revered Jedi Master and the famous Hero of Tython to actually have a semblance of a temper, but the ashes surrounding me, that I’d been walking through most of today, had a way of making even the calmest of minds snap.

Before either of them could speak I continued, “If you had even remotely listened to the intelligence on the ground instead of being blinded by hatred of the Empire, maybe we would have stood a chance to stop Vitiate from eating an entire world.” I took a deep breath and then made a very exaggerated point to show my backdrop behind me. The muted colors, the grey ash and dust of a torn-up wasteland. “But no. This is on you.”

“Now listen here…” Saresh began.

“No,” and I clicked off the communication link with the Chancellor. I looked quickly to Satele, who was just staring at me with emotionless concern. Before she spoke, I cut off any train of thought she was about to attempt. “I will not take orders from her. If that means I am no longer Battlemaster, so be it.”

“I do not think that is necessary. But remember…”

I took a deep cleansing breath, well as cleansing as could be given my surroundings. “I remember,” I said, my voice taking on the same calm serenity that Master Satele had. Then I ended the communication.


	4. “I know you didn’t ask for this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timeline Setting: Between KotFE Chapters 8 and 9

“I know you didn’t ask for this,” Lana said softly as I exited the bridge of the Gravestone. 

I rubbed my temples tiredly and just gave Lana an absent nod. There were seriously far too many personalities on that bridge and my head was already quite loud as it is.

“Try to get some rest.” With that last response, Lana went back onto the bridge.

I sighed heavily and started trying to remember the way back to my quarters. I heard a familiar friendly beep and I looked down and smiled. I was so happy to see T7-01 again and I was glad he’d finally joined us on the Gravestone. 

“Gravestone = Lots of loose wires.”

I laughed and nodded and opted to follow T7 as he went into a room and started trying to fix one of the loose wires laying across the floor.

I sat down on the floor and leaned up against the wall as I watched him work. Frowning slightly, I decided to breach a subject I’d been pondering since I woke up, and probably worrying over needlessly. “Theron…” I started but couldn’t find the words to finish. I was just so exhausted.

_Jedi asked T7 to help Theron. We worked for SIS until Theron left._

“He left the SIS?”

T7 made a confirming beep as he worked.

“I’ve been hesitant to ask Lana about him. They didn’t exactly have the best of relationships before…”

_Lana found you. Contacted Theron for help. Theron asked T7 to help in his place._

“That would confirm what he wrote me.”

T7 made another confirming beep.

I rubbed my head a bit. I kept turning over what his letter had said. I wished there was time stamp on it, so I knew how long ago it was. I wanted to manage my expectations when and if I ever saw him again. I really…

“Theron = Missed you.”

I startled and blinked slowly at T7. “What?”

The droid rolled up next to me and projected an image of Theron, sitting in a chair in front of a microphone, some sort of instrument in his lap. He looked a bit disheveled, his brown hair a bit longer and not as well sculpted as it had been. He also had what looked like a few days’ worth of a beard. But he spoke into the microphone and it was definitely him. I stared at it for a bit.

_Undercover gig._

He started strumming the instrument and I just stared at the image. He was… singing. His voice was low and morose. The words he was singing sounded, vaguely familiar. “Stay with me…”

My eyes watered and I found myself rubbing at them as I leaned up against T7. I just stared at the holo, taking in the song, the sound, and the feeling. I honestly could not remember when my eyes closed.

“Jyana?”

I startled awake and blinked a few times and stared up at Lana. “Huh?”

She seemed slightly amused at the sight of me having fallen asleep with my emotional support droid as a pillow. “Wake up. We’re at Asylum.”

_–_

> _Inspired by: [A Late Night Last Minute Request by Window to the Abbey (Troy Baker)](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fopen.spotify.com%2Ftrack%2F6uQCPDgdLJ0zA3dvu6p4fq%3Fsi%3DABEGvdzBRs27heBV05cWEg&t=NjNmYzFhNDM0MWQ2ZjA0YzNiZDM4Njg0NWI1YzQ0NTQyZWIzMGJhNSxPQUxjTUJqdw%3D%3D&b=t%3AoLksXr8wjZ3TblGOQX94BA&p=https%3A%2F%2Fhonekitteh.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F188127090888%2Ffictober-2019-day-4&m=1)_


	5. “I might just kiss you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timeline Setting: During KotFE Chapter 9

I felt my heartbeat getting louder before there I sensed a presence I didn’t expect. "I like what you’ve done with the place,” a male voice spoke as I turned around.

_Welp, internal monologue needs to take a backseat._ "Theron Shan.”

He looked almost the same as he had when I’d seen him all those years ago. Not the disheveled scruffy musician cover that Teeseven had shown me over a week ago. Just older. I could tell time hadn’t been entirely kind to him by the tuffs of grey hairs that were within his typical dark hair at the temples. He smiled and seemed to let out a breath as he continued his greeting. “Hadn’t seen you in a while. Wasn’t sure you’d remember me.”

“Are you kidding me?” Without thinking I had grabbed the edge of his red leather coat to pull him towards me and wrapped my arms around him tight into a hug. He startled, but after a few seconds of my own personal determination not to let him go, he slowly dethawed, and his arms wrapped around me and I felt him rest his chin on the top of my head. After a few moments of silence, I continued, “It’s great to see you again, Theron.”

“Good,” he breathed out. He pulled back a bit, tipping my chin up to look him in the eyes. “Wasn’t sure, based on what Lana said you went through. What you’re going through.”

I furrowed my brow in confusion for a bit, until it dawned on me. The carbonite, the Emperor, she’d kept him in the loop this whole time. And didn’t tell me… I pursed my lips a bit, forgetting for a moment we were still in a light hug till he hugged me tighter and absently rubbed his nose against the crook of my neck. I shivered but smiled at it.

“Been a long five years,” he said lowly, “Feels like everything’s changed.”

I chuckled slightly as he pulled away and slowly let go of the hug and reached a hand to trace the grey hairs in his hair at his temples. “You got better looking.”

He visibly flushed. “I don’t know about that, but hey, I’ll take it.”

He pulled away and led me back towards the edge of the platform, overlooking the canyon. I could feel the distance he started to put back between us. Frowning I just watched him as he poked at the controls on his bracers. Right, it’s been five years for him. Five years.

He had continued speaking. “Since I left the SIS, Lana’s brought me in to manage operations. But before we get into all the more-or-less official stuff, I’ve got something for you.”

I blinked. “You found Kira? Doc? The others?”

He shook his head, “No luck so far, just our buddy Teeseven as you’re aware. But…”

“Needs work!” Tora called out over the comms, “A lot of work!”

I heard the sound of a ship and then stared as my old Defender did a fly by and went to land somewhere outdoors of but near the docking bay. I felt my heart stop for a few seconds and I could not entirely control the wave of elation that washed over me.

“Theron Shan,” I stated, “I might just kiss you.”

While he looked back down at his wrist computer on his bracer, Theron tried to smother a grin, the corners of his lips twitching upward despite his effort. “When you have a moment, it’s time for that official stuff.”

I pouted slightly at him.

“Later,” he stated with a short wink before continuing, “I’ll be inside.” And with that Theron Shan had wandered inside the Odessen base while I was left yet again to my own thoughts.


	6. “Yes, I’m aware.  Your point?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timeline Setting: After KotFE Chapter 9

It took me awhile to remember where I was as I slowly opened my eyes, but I didn’t feel like there was a reason to panic. The walls looked vaguely familiar. As things came into focus, I remembered I’d fallen asleep in my quarters on the Defender at some point after…

I wasn’t alone.

Theron was still asleep, but he had one arm draped around me loosely. I slowly shifted and turned towards him and studied him for a bit. I wondered how long it had been since the holo in the cantina that T7 had shown me. He’d obviously shaved since then, but he definitely had at least a days’ worth of growth on his face. I lightly traced my fingers along the side of his face, along his cranial implants. He stirred a bit, grumbling something about being comfortable and not wanting to get up. It was an agreeable position, but I was fairly certain he was the one who had scheduled our day full of meetings. And the Hutt was pretty adamant about me looking for a Findsman.

But it was warm here. He’d pulled me in closer, burying his face into my chest. It wasn’t a move that was asking for more, just more of a hug. I absently ran my fingers through his hair. I couldn’t remember when we’d actually managed to get the comforter over us, but I vaguely remember Theron making a joke about inappropriate use of the Force. There were many other inappropriate uses I could probably utilize, so I’m not sure how moving a comforter qualified.

I groaned a bit, trying to shift a little out of his embrace, only to be greeted with him tightening. “We have meetings,” I mumbled.

“Yes, I’m aware,” Theron said, muffled into my chest, “Your point?”

I chuckled, still running my fingers through his hair. “We’re going to need to get up.”

“Five more minutes.” He shifted a bit, moving me to lay more on my back, but his head still using my chest as a pillow. Only this was more to the side, where he’d found where my chest and my shoulder met and decided that was the perfect spot. He had his arms still around me, keeping me where we were.

After a time, I just sighed. “You missed me…” I felt his brow furrow, but he didn’t respond. I half thought he’d fallen asleep again. I continued my thoughts aloud, “It doesn’t even feel like 5 years… to me… so I… I don’t know if it… really is the same at all…”

He slowly raised his head and looked up at me. His brow was furrowed in thought and looked me in the eyes. “What do you mean?”

“I…” I looked away from his intense gaze for a moment. “I missed you too… I… I didn’t…”

He cupped my face with his hand, pulling me back to look into his eyes. “Were you scared?”

I shook my head. “Not really scared but…”

Raising an eyebrow at me he asked, “What did you think I’d do?”

I raised my eyebrow in response. “Move on?”

He looked away briefly before responding. “I… I couldn’t.”

I blinked at him but he didn’t give me much of a chance to respond before he’d covered my mouth with his. The kiss was soft, meant to more reassure than for any other purpose. Whether he was trying to reassure me of something he did or didn’t do, or reassure himself of me being here, I wasn’t entirely sure. He pulled out of the kiss slightly and gave me a small, tired smile and rested his forehead against mine.

“We still need to get up…” I sighed a bit.

He groaned, “I know…” He moved slightly to lay back down on my chest.

“We’ll be late for our meeting…”

“And?”

“Do you want Lana to come looking for us?”

“Shit.” He shifted but still seemed loathe to move from this spot.

“I’m not going anywhere, Theron,” I said as I ran my hand through his hair one last time for the morning.

“I know…”

“Come on…”


	7. “No, and that’s final.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timeline Setting: After Forged Alliances

I was pretty sure my face-palm could have been heard all the way out to Hoth from here. I walked out of the cockpit and tilted my head looking Doc in the eyes. “What’s this really all about? I don’t think we have a relationship that we’d need to even break up from.”

“Yeah, I know. I got the hint when you said ‘No, and that’s final,’” Doc responded with a laugh.

I rubbed my temples, “I really don’t remember being that harsh. More oblivious.”

He tapped a finger on his mouth. “True, that’s more accurate.”

“So, then what is this break-up thing all about?”

“I got your attention, didn’t I?”

“Yes,” I sighed, rubbing my temple, “I am paying attention. What is it?”

“If you see him again you need to be prepared.” He nodded to emphasize his point.

I blinked, “Prepared for what?”

He was still stroking the goatee on his chin as he spoke, “Given his own birth, I am fairly certain he would be prepared himself to prevent any surprises.”

I stared at him and tried to look around to the rest of the crew, who seemed to have disappeared on me. “I am really lost.”

He was still on the same train of thought, not really paying attention to my complete confusion. “Anyway, if you’re not comfortable talking lady things with me, here’s a recommendation for a lady doctor on Carrick Station.” 

“Lady things?”

“Jyana, he’s talking about birth control,” Kira stated causing me to jump. She’d hidden her presence in the Force so I had no idea she had been standing right behind me.

“What?” That was when it dawned on me what everyone was talking about. “Oh…. OH! Oh my god that is the last thing I have in mind.”

“Regardless.” Doc didn’t seem startled at all and continued talking, “If you’re going to do the thing, you better be safe about it.”

“Why… I… “ I was at a loss for words.

Doc just shoved a data pad in my hands and I looked down at it for a while, just blinking.

“Useful information to have,” Kira stated, pointing at the pad, “Even for Jedi following the code.”

I sighed heavily. “I really don’t know what you all are on about. Nothing’s happened.”

Kira just raised an eyebrow at me and moved the word, “Yet,” and then slid back towards her quarters.


	8. “Can you stay?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timeline Setting: After Rise of the Emperor - Upcoming content for "Countdown"

“Am I going to have to walk the drunken Jedi Battlemaster back to her ship?” Theron smirked at me across the table, after settling the accounts with the waitress.

I gave him a glare in return for his inquiry. “I’ll be fine… hic.” I felt my ears heat up even more than they were already after the hiccup. I took the last glass of water and downed it with a large gulp. After a thought, I raised my eyebrow up at him and stated, “I thought you were going to escort me anyway.”

He gave a shrug. “Well I was…”

“But…?”

“I don’t think we want to make a scene.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “Please, I can do subtle…”

He gave a glance at my face with a raised eyebrow of his own and looked me up and down. The button up shirt with vest I’d opted to wear today definitely didn’t scream ‘Jedi.’ “Well you made an attempt at it at least.” He stood up and offered me his hand to help me out of my seat. 

I took it, still staring at him dubiously. I got up and nearly stumbled before regaining my balance. 

“Good thing you ate at least a dozen of those dumplings,” Theron laughed, “I’d hate to see you if you’d gotten drunk on an empty stomach.”

“Shut up,” I growled a bit. I wobbled a bit as I tried to make my way to the stairs out of the cantina. At least the elevator to the Defender’s docking bay wasn’t too terribly far.

He kept a light hand slightly behind me, as if he was accustomed to dealing with drunk people. But he remained quiet as he walked with me, watching me as we moved through the station. 

“Here we are,” I stated to myself as we got to the elevator and punched in the button to call it.

Theron scratched the back of his neck as we waited for the elevator. He opened his mouth a few times, but didn’t say anything other than watching me attempt to stand still. 

“Something wrong?” I asked him. 

“Ah… I’m sorry. I’m just thinking of the right words to say. They don’t usually sound the way I planned,” he laughed nervously. 

I tilted my head curiously at him then nodded to the elevators doors as they opened. We walked inside and I punched in the keys to get to my docking bay. After a few seconds, I asked, looking back to him, “Can you stay?”

He gave a quick scout of the surroundings and moved closer to me, where I could feel his breath on my nose. He lowered his voice to a deeper register as he stated, “I have a few hours I think, I can wait around awhile.”

I raised my eyebrow slightly, but before I could say anything further, his mouth was on mine. His tongue met mine they became entangled with each other. He pushed me hard against the wall of the elevator and pressed his body against me. I dug my fingers into his hair, probably messing up how he had it styled. He only complained slightly with a groan, though I’m not entirely sure that was a complaint about his hair. I moved my free hand to his chest, just lightly there where I could feel his rapid heartbeat.

“Theron…” I murmured into his lips, between breaths. I tried to give his chest a slight push.

“Hm?” he groaned slightly, still rubbing his lips against mine, not really willing to part.

“Door.”

He reluctantly moved back and gave a glance behind him and the door opened. He jumped slightly so that we were separated and adjusted the front of his pants. 

I adjusted my shirt, noticing that two of the top buttons had already come undone, revealing the bra I had underneath. I let that be though, as I didn’t sense any of my crew were anywhere in the ship bay.

As we left the elevator, he looked back at me. “You are… very drunk. I’m not taking advantage…?”

I shook my head and motioned him towards my ship with a smile.


	9. “There is a certain taste to it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timeline Setting: During Forged Alliances - Immediately following "Just follow me, I know the area."

“You said to surprise you,” I said to Theron handing him the small dish full of dumplings.

He smirked and took it from me. “You should still try one first.”

I leaned up against the railing next to him that overlooked the rest of the district in Coruscant. At some point in the time we’d been down there, the sun had begun its descent, making the sky turn varying colors of oranges and reds. I took one of the dumplings from my own dish and studied it for a while before taking a bite.

Theron was watching me intently. “Well?”

“There is a certain taste to it,” I nodded and put the rest of the dumpling in my mouth.

“That doesn’t entirely sound like a ringing endorsement,” he chuckled.

I smirked at him and grinned, “It’s really good.” To emphasize my point, I popped a second one in my mouth, savoring the taste of whatever the mix of meat and vegetables were wrapped in the dough. I then gestured to the one he had popped in his mouth. “How’d I do?”

He winked at me in response. We stood there against the railing, watching the crowds for some time while we ate the dumplings. A breeze caught me off guard and I didn’t entirely hide my shiver. Theron raised an eyebrow and frowned slightly. “Here, hold this,” he said handing his empty dumpling dish to me. He then shrugged off his coat, revealing his own shirt being sleeveless underneath.

I blinked slowly at his arms and it took me a couple extra seconds for it to dawn on me. “Oh… oh no. I’ll be fine.”

He plopped his coat over my shoulders, ignoring my objections. “Your shoulders have bumps on them.”

I had to admit, the red leather coat was pretty warm and cozy. “What about yours?”

“I’ll be fine,” he grinned. “I’ll be right back. Going to get us a refill of these if you want?”

I nodded a bit. “You sure? You seemed like you wanted to avoid someone.”

He looked over towards the stands for a moment and sighed a bit. “Was supposed to be one-time thing, haven’t seen him since. It really shouldn’t be a big deal.” With that he was off towards the stand.

I watched him for a while. The interaction between the mirialan man and him was difficult to read at this distance, but I didn’t think it’d be appropriate to snoop with the Force, so I just opted to prod him more about it when he got back. He came back with more dumplings and handed the dish to me. “Got a couple different ones, hope you’ll like them.” 

“I’m sure they’ll be fine,” I said as I took the dish and took a bite of one. That was a kind of steak meat, but I couldn’t place it. These were certainly worth all of the praise Theron had given them.

He didn’t meet my eyes and there was a slight flush to his cheeks.

I raised an eyebrow at him. “A one-time thing?”

He looked back to me, a bit startled at the question, and then scratched the back of his neck. “A fling? Have you… oh right. Jedi Master.”

I snorted. “I know what a fling is.”

“Right,” he laughed a bit.

I gave him a poke in the side. “Contrary to popular belief, Jedi have been known to engage in such activities.”

“True,” he frowned a bit. Of course, I internally smacked myself for the response. Should’ve thought about who I was talking to. But before I could quickly apologize, he poked me back in my stomach. “Have you?”

I started at the question, flushing slightly and I shook my head, “Never stayed in one place too long, never really made the time.”

“No one’s ever asked?”

“No… I mean, yes, but that was Doc…”

Theron seemed to choke slightly on the dumpling he had in his mouth. “Doc huh?”

“Let’s be honest, Theron. Doc? That was a nope.”

“Not your type?”

I shook my head, “Came on way too strong at a time I was focused on… other matters.”

He nodded a bit and lowered his voice, “The Emperor, right… but no others?”

I shrugged. “I can’t recall, but I could have missed it.”

He raised his eyebrow, studying me for a time. Then he nodded as to a question being answered in his own thoughts. I tilted my head, curious as to what he was thinking. But he didn’t let anything show on his face what it might be. Instead, he simply said, “Come on, there’s more to this festival than just food. Let me show you.”

I nodded and allowed him to lead me onward, completely forgetting the fact that I was still wearing his red leather coat like a shawl.


	10. “Listen, I can’t explain it, you’ll have to trust me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timeline Setting: Five-Year Time Skip | POV: 3rd Person - Theron Shan

He couldn’t recall how long he’d been leaning against the wall in the Senate Tower. T7 had been taken to data processing in the SIS offices so Theron had been left to his own thoughts. He had a few choice words for a lot of people in this building, but none of them would be helpful. Nothing he could do would change the immediate situation that had before them. He’d heard the Chancellor writing the Jedi Battlemaster off as dead, and though he’d been told quite insistently that she wasn’t, it didn’t change how it felt.

“Theron?”

He blinked and looked up. The Grandmaster of the Jedi Order, Satele Shan, his mother, was standing in front of him, her face unreadable, though he thought he saw a flicker of concern in her eyes. He waved it off internally and kicked himself off the wall. “Grandmaster.”

“I trust you’ve heard the news.”

He nodded, “SIS reinstated me not long after.”

“Good to hear.”

He wrinkled his nose. “Wasn’t sure you’d be too glad about that.”

She sighed softly, “Now is not the time for that. They should have reinstated you before now, but…”

“I know. The Chancellor doesn’t trust me.”

“No, but you did have someone who spoke up for you.”

He raised his eyebrow in question.

“Battlemaster Jyana.”

Theron closed his eyes and sighed. Of course, she did. She was livid after Ziost even with all she could try to do to control those feelings, she couldn’t. Nor did she hide from him how it affected her. 

Satele continued speaking, “Kira does not believe she is dead.”

He raised his eyebrow. Of course, Kira would have reported to the Grandmaster. “What do you think?”

“I cannot sense her with the Force, but I feel I would have known if she had died. It’s… hard to explain.”

“I’m getting that a lot,” he muttered.

Satele tilted her head at him. “She would not want you to dwell,” she offered softly.

Theron snapped, “How would you know what she wants?”

The expression that went across the Grandmaster’s was a mixture of emotions that surprised him. She had furrowed her brow slightly, but then her eyes slightly widened. As quickly as the emotions had flickered, they disappeared again behind her Jedi Grandmaster mask. Calmly she stated, “If Kira believes she is alive, then she is. What do you believe she wants?”

He pursed his lips at the question and looked down. He could hear Kira’s statement still as clearly as it had been told to his face a couple hours ago.

_“Listen, I can’t explain it, you’ll have to trust me.”_

Kira was certain she was alive. His own mother had just stated she did not feel her die, but she could not sense her at all. He wanted to believe this, he needed to believe she was still alive, that he’d see her again. 

He looked back up at Satele and spoke back up, “To not give up. To follow my…” he almost said _heart,_ but he stopped himself.

Satele nodded. “Then that is what you must do.”

He nodded at her and looked back down at his chrono. “I need to go…”

“Of course. May the Force be with you.”

His eye slightly twitched but he nodded simply in response.

As he walked away, he sighed and reached into the inner pocket of his red coat. Kira had said there was something in there that he might be interested in, but he hadn’t had the courage to look. He frowned as he pulled out a very nicely wrapped cookie. He blinked at it and looked behind him. His mother had already left so he took a deep breath. She probably knew, but he didn’t really want to confirm her suspicions. He looked at the cookie and smiled softly at it. 

He wasn’t sure if he’d see his mother again in the next coming months, but he didn’t need her to see him let his walls down as he leaned up against the nearest wall and ate a cookie that the woman he cared about had made.


	11. “It’s not always like this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timeline Setting: After Shadow of Revan

I flopped on my back onto my bed on the Defender and stared at the ceiling for what felt like a good 30 minutes. It’d been a long day of meetings with varying different Republic officials and the Jedi Council. Just trying to get my bearings with this new job of being the Battlemaster took a bit of adjustment. I’d much rather just be pointed in one direction and handle the issue as opposed to have to manage others to do the same. Though teaching younglings like I had gotten a chance to do a few days ago, that was rewarding.

Meetings, not so much.

“Still no call?”

I startled a bit and sat up on my bed. Kira was just standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame. “Hm?” I inquired, raising my eyebrow.

Kira smirked at me. “Thought he’d told you it wasn’t going to be a one-time thing.”

It took me maybe a few seconds to realize she was talking about Theron Shan. I tried to even consider when he’d even told me that, and then it dawned on me. “I… I thought we were alone,” I muttered, frowning. I really doubt he would have been as affectionate in that brief moment before I went to investigate the Massassi infested temple grounds on Yavin had he known we had an audience.

“You were,” she winked.

“Then how?”

“A good guess maybe? I can’t give you all of my secrets now.”

I sighed heavily in response. Couldn’t argue with Kira’s logic on that point. 

“Well?”

Since I got the feeling that she wasn’t going to drop the topic, I decided to oblige her and offered her to take a seat next to me on my bed, which she did. “I don’t think it’s a one-time thing,” I shrugged, “We’ve just got busy jobs that take us in different directions for now.”

She nodded and watched me curiously. “You’ve not talked about it.”

“Talked about what?” I blinked.

“Your time with him.” Kira waggled her eyebrows a bit.

I felt all the blood in my face rush to my cheeks and I’m pretty sure even to my ears. “I… am I supposed to?”

She shook her head and elbowed me playfully. “Nah, I’m just being nosy.”

I sighed. “With the Force, some experiences are explosive. You said that once.”

“I did,” she nodded, “It’s not always like this, though. But with the right person…”

I studied her for a bit. There was a lot I didn’t really know about her life before Master Kiwiiks found her. I’d never really pressed her about it, but I wasn’t entirely sure it was something she’d readily give. 

Kira studied me as well. “So was it?”

“Was what?” I blinked.

“Was it explosive?”

“I… er…” I scratched the back of my neck, looking down slightly, but I couldn’t hide the smile on my face from the memory. His lips on mine, his light touch on my skin, and… “Yeah… yeah I suppose it was.”

“Not bad for a method to release all that emotional control, huh?”

I laughed slightly. “That’s one way to put it.”

“If he’s good, sometimes the emotional release can occur multiple times in quick succession.”

I startled, my cheeks heating up even more than I had thought possible. “Oh my… Kira! I…”

She laughed and ruffled my hair. “First times can be weird. Glad yours was better than mine.”

I wrinkled my nose. “I feel like you’re treating me like a padawan.”

“In the ways of intercourse, I am the Hero of Tython?” She tapped a finger on her lips. “I kind of like the sound of that.”

“I… I can’t even with you sometimes.” I threw one of the pillows on my bed at her head, which she must’ve seen coming, despite not ducking from it. She tossed another pillow back at me and with that we just divulged in giggles.


	12. “What if I don’t see it?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timeline Setting: During Shadow of Revan

“With the Emperor back, I have a feeling that things are about to get more interesting.” I fidgeted in my spot, suddenly second guessing my statement and wondering if I’d ruined the moment. Though the way he looked at me didn’t suggest that I had.

“I’d bet on it.” He sighed a bit and looked up towards the sky. Varying different shuttles flew overhead as the different fleets were mobilizing. “My job back, the plans they have already started assigning to me, I know I can do it. I just…”

“What is it?”

“What if I don’t see it?”

“See what?”

“Any of this stuff. Incorporeal near immortal Emperor? If I hadn’t actually been there it’d take a lot for me to truly believe it. There are some moments like this…”

“The Force isn’t what makes a person special, Theron. It’s what’s in your heart.”

“Easy for you to say, you’ve always had it,” he responded quickly. Then he frowned and looked down for a moment and glanced up into my eyes. He then reached for my hand with a sigh and stated, “That was unfair of me, sorry.”

I looked down and allowed him to take my hand, despite the frown that crossed my face. “I’d like to think I’ve done my best to not take it for granted.”

He studied our hands as they slowly entwined. He pulled my hand up to his lips and lightly kissed my fingers one by one. “It’s funny,” he stated, running his fingers over mine where his lips had been, “You’re this famous Jedi, but since we’ve started working together, you’ve been a spy, a saboteur, a fake pirate… How’d you pull it all off so well?”

I was fairly certain my cheeks and ears had changed to a dark red from the attention he was paying to my hand. “Honestly, I feel more at home with all that than I ever have meditating in the temple.”

He smiled and glanced up from my hand and looked me in the eyes. “Can’t say that surprises me too much.” He pulled me closer to him and wrapped my captive hand around his neck. He took a quick glance about the surroundings and lowered his voice, “Before we get going, there’s just one last thing I had in mind, if you think you can keep up.”

I narrowed my eyes, studying his. He bit his lip a bit as he shifted his stance. I glanced at his lips then his eyes, then leaned in to kiss him softly. “Is that what you had in mind?”

Theron grinned, “It’s a start.”


	13. “I never knew it could be this way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timeline Setting: During KotFE Chapter 9 - Retelling of "I might just kiss you." | POV: 3rd Person - Theron Shan

“Are you kidding me?” Jyana grabbed the edge of Theron’s red leather coat and pulled him into a tight hug. 

Theron startled, his heartbeat increasing rapidly. Her arms, her scent, they were the same, everything about this felt right, and yet… it’d been so long. Five years. _Never knew I could feel like this…_ he slowly melted into her arms and wrapped his arms around her, placing his chin on the top of her head.

“It’s great to see you again, Theron.”

_You have no idea._ “Good,” he breathed out. He pulled back, tipping her chin up to look him in the eyes. “Wasn’t sure, based on what Lana said you went through. What you’re going through.” He noted the mixture of facial expressions that crossed her face before he pulled her in closer and buried his face into the crook of her neck. It’d been so long since her scent had adorned his coat. He could find himself just vanishing into the sensation of being in her arms again. But he couldn’t. Not right now. “Been a long five years,” he said, his voice low, “Feels like everything’s changed.” Theron slowly moved himself back to look her in the eyes, letting her out of the hug, though his touch lingered slowly.

She chuckled lightly and reached a hand to trace the hair at his temples. “You got better looking.”

“I don’t know about that, but hey, I’ll take it.” His cheeks heated up and he had to resist leaning into her hand at the side of his face. He took a deep breath as he pulled away and led her towards the edge of the platform that overlooked the canyon. “Since I left the SIS, Lana’s brought me in to manage operations. But before we get into all the more-or-less official stuff, I’ve got something for you.”

She blinked. “You found Kira? Doc? The others?”

_I wish._ He shook his head, “No luck so far, just our buddy Teeseven as you’re aware. But…”

“Needs work!” Tora called out over the comms, “A lot of work!”

He watched Jyana’s face as she watched her ship do a fly by and move to its new landing zone. He was certain he’d get lost in her eyes again.

“Theron Shan,” she stated, “I might just kiss you.”

_So cute._ While he looked back down at his wrist computer on his bracer, Theron tried to smother a grin, the corners of his lips twitching upward despite his effort. _I wish…_ He had so many meetings already scheduled. No time for that right now. “When you have a moment, it’s time for that official stuff.”

She pouted at him.

_Damnit. _“Later,” he stated, trying to cover up his own disappointment at his schedule with a wink, “I’ll be inside.” He did his best to walk into the base without giving away anything in his stride. His mind was a swirl of different emotions that he worked very hard to compartmentalize so he could focus on the upcoming task. He could feel that the moment he allowed himself to look back towards her, he’d feel the lure to be back in her arms. He couldn’t. Not now. There was too much work to do.

But stars knew, he had missed her.

“I never knew it could be this way,” he mumbled to himself as he approached the large console within the War Room on Odessen.

“What could be this way?”

He blinked and looked up. Hylo Viz and the other expert advisors he had summoned to the meeting had begun to arrive. He looked around between them then shook his head. “It’s nothing. Shall we begin?”


	14. “I can’t come back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timeline Setting: Five-Year Time Skip | POV: 3rd Person - Theron Shan

He gave a small gesture with two fingers to the bartender as he took a seat at the bar. He gave a few glances to each corner of the bar, watching the patrons going back and forth. A few men and women were getting a tad rowdy with a nautolan dancer. She was pretty enough, he supposed, the purplish skin accented by the golden silk adorning her body. His gaze lingered a bit before glancing back to the bar and the glass placed before him. He took the glass in his hand, sniffing the liquid for a bit while the ice swirled in the glass. Nodding to himself that the bartender understood his request, he took a sip.

“Theron Shan,” said a man sitting down next to him at the bar.

Theron startled and looked over to see Jonas Balkar making the same gesture to the bartender that he had made earlier. He pursed his lips and looked back down at his glass and swirled the ice in the amber liquid again. “What are _you_ doing here?”

“You’re in my second favorite bar on Nar Shaddaa and you didn’t expect to run into me?” the agent smirked.

Theron took a long drink of his glass then asked, “What do you want Balkar?”

“Heard you resigned.”

“If you’re here to try to talk me out of it…” He sighed and began internally preparing his defense of his decision. 

“Not really,” Jonas stated as he took his drink from the bartender and give it a sniff, swirling the liquid in the glass. “Just more checking up on you.”

“I can’t come back, Balkar.”

“I get it.” Jonas took a slow sip of his drink and turned on this stool to lean against the bar. He took glances in each corner of the bar and then stopped to watch the purple nautolan dancer. “Did they find her?”

He stopped mid swig of his drink. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Jonas chuckled. “I’m not oblivious, Theron. You’re still wearing that dingy old red leather coat that you left on her ship the last time you saw her.” 

He turned to look at the agent beside him. “What are you…”

“Don’t be so surprised. There was a reason I helped you get away from Coruscant when you were on Administrative leave.” He kept watching over the bar as yet another argument broke out around the nautolan dancer and a few other patrons. “You were happy then. Well, as happy as someone who was on Administrative leave could be. Then everything changed. You weren’t the same after Darth Marr’s ship exploded.” 

Theron looked back down at his drink, frowning to see its contents had dwindled to just the ice in the glass. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

Jonas placed a hand on Theron’s shoulder. “Because I understand the ‘don’t kiss don’t tell’ motto. If you wanted to talk to me about her, you would have. I respect your privacy.” Theron made a disbelieving sound from his throat which caused his fellow agent to laugh. “Don’t be so surprised. I’m pretty sure you didn’t want anyone knowing about it, especially no one who would leak it to your mother.”

“Jyana didn’t need that,” Theron said mostly under his breath. The last thing she needed was for the Grandmaster to come in and try to tell her how to live her life. Jyana had already risked enough by just giving him the time of day. She’d had enough going on. He was fairly sure the last time he’d seen her was perhaps the most undisturbed sleep she’d had in a while. He hadn’t wanted to go but he couldn’t miss his ride back to Coruscant. If he’d stayed…

“No. No she wouldn’t have,” he continued, finishing off his drink. “I took care of it.”

He blinked and stared over at his old friend. “You did what?”

Jonas waved it off. “I owe you. Still do. It’s the least I could do.”

Theron stared at him for a while, then followed his gaze. In another life, he’d probably have been lured in by the dancing of the nautolan dancer or of the zabrak male that had just broken up the latest fight. In another time, there were perhaps numerous patrons in this bar that could have sold him on a good time. But not this night. He sighed again and decided to give Jonas a proper answer. “I’m waiting for confirmation. I don’t have anything solid.”

“Well then, I won’t keep you,” he nodded and got up from his seat, tossing some credits to the bartender and allowing his gaze to follow a mirialan woman who was leaving the bar. “If you need anything from me, even intel from the SIS, I’m still your guy.”

“Thanks. I appreciate it,” he reached out and placed a hand on Jonas’ arm. “Really.”

Jonas Balkar winked and patted Theron’s hand before he made his way in the direction of the mirialan woman.

Theron turned back to his empty drink and motioned for another. He closed his eyes as he waited, wondering if Teeseven managed to find the data they had come to Nar Shaddaa to find in the first place. Sure enough, the droid confirmed his contact was near and would be in the bar in less than 10 minutes.

Plenty of time for another drink at least. Anything to not think about the image of a sleeping Jyana and how he really had wished he’d not gotten out of that bed. Why he kept getting back to that particular image, he wasn’t sure. Probably because he’d played a song that he’d written based on it for months as he stalked out one piece of intel after leaving the SIS. Maybe this whole idea was a mistake.

“Theron?”

He looked up and saw Lana. She looked like she hadn’t slept in about a week, or at least not well for the last year. Not too dissimilar from him. She’d changed to a slightly less flashy outfit, though she still carried herself like a Sith Lord. He sighed a bit, looking down at the now empty glass again like it betrayed him. “This better be worth it.”

“I told you she’s alive,” she sighed and slid him a data pad, “Here.”

Taking the pad he took a look over the data. His eyes widened as he saw her image there, frozen in carbonite. He then checked the data even further to look for the life sign information. It all checked out. She was _alive_.

Lana poked Theron on his nose. This startled him and he just glared at the Sith in response. “You should sober up. Get that jacket cleaned. And shave,” she said poking at his unkept beard. “We have work to do.”


	15. “That’s what I’m talking about!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timeline Setting: During Rise of the Emperor - Upcoming content for "Countdown"

“This is a door?”

Kira nodded to me as I walked towards the circle window like fixture on the left side of the entrance hall of the People’s Tower. I tried to keep my focus on the entryway to the next level of the building as opposed to the corpses now laying at our feet. The amount of bodies that were being thrown towards me to try to prevent us from our path, with little more purpose than for just simple mayhem and death, was overwhelming. There were very few meditation techniques that could fully block out the scent of the dead at this point, but I needed to press on. The fate of this world felt like it was slipping out of my grasp and it felt like it was up to me.

Again.

I couldn’t find the way to open the door easily, looking around for the controls. I reached out with my senses. “Locked.”

“Typical Imperials,” Kira huffed, “So rude to guests.”

I frowned as tried a few things with the Force. “I’m not sure I can bust it myself.”

My friend took a step up and closed her eyes. Then she shook her head. “I doubt even the two of us could do it alone, even if one of us was on the other side. Unless Lana is miraculously right there, we’re on our own. We need something else.”

I frowned. Not really willing to give up quite yet, I tested the door again with my senses.

“Jyana, I think we need something with a bit more explosive power.”

I sighed heavily. “Fine. What do you have in mind?”

Kira scanned the entrance hall. There was a large holographic map of Ziost on display on the middle console. She took a scan beyond it. “There’s something over there, but I think we’ll have to fight our way there.”

“Sounds about normal,” I sighed.

We worked our way over there quickly, myself leaping into battle with a Sith Lord. I only felt slightly bad about engaging him in battle, cause I was fairly sure he’d want to thwart whatever we were planning on his own volition. I couldn’t tell how long he’d been under Vitiate’s puppetry, but it didn’t matter now. A poor imperial medic was unfortunately in the crossfire, which was something that I did feel terrible about. But our situation did not give us a lot of time to reflect or regret. We had to keep moving.

When the enemies had fallen, as they refused to stop until they were ended, I noticed the thing Kira thought she had seen. I picked up the rocket launcher and looked at it with great suspicion.

“That looks promising,” Kira said.

“This might be overkill,” I stated looking at it and checking to make certain it was loaded.

“Pft,” Kira waved that off, “No such thing as overkill.”

“Let’s move.” I put the rocket launcher over my shoulder, loosely letting the strap on it secure it there. I looked back towards the door and frowned. “Did you invite more friends to the party?” I asked motioning towards the four imperial commandos that were now between us and the door. 

“I need to hire a new party planner.”

I was getting so tired of fighting, but I tossed my lightsabers to draw the commandos’ attention. I wasn’t sure I was quite comfortable opening with my typical leap into the fray. Adding the rocket launcher to my back would wreck the physics of the leap or at least set it off that I wasn’t sure I had the right read on it. I already had a habit of overexerting and I really could not afford to do it at this stage. I was already exhausted. I knew the final battle was soon, but I could not completely estimate how much longer I had to go. I couldn’t go overboard now, not at this stage. 

Kira pushed the last of the four back as he fell. She frowned looking down at them. A glance up at me showed me she was feeling what I was. Overwhelming sorrow. Both of us knew what it was like to be out of our own control. Both of us had broken free, but it did not pass without some level of scars. Such was our life.

We got to the door and I unholstered the rocket launcher. This wasn’t my first rodeo. I checked all the mechanisms, made certain the ammo was set just right. 

“Maybe we should knock first?” Kira asked.

“This is me knocking,” I said and fired.

The explosion shock the building and threw both of us back. Startled at the reaction I dropped the rocket launcher and used the Force to cushion our fall.

“That’s what I’m talking about!”

I stared at Kira as I picked myself up off the floor.

“I gotta get me one of those!” she said as she was pointing at the rocket launcher.

“Later. We don’t have any way to reload it and we’ve got to keep moving.”

“No fun.”

I sighed and rolled my eyes and jumped through the door.


	16. “Listen.  No, really listen.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timeline Setting: Five-Year Time Skip | POV: 3rd Person - Theron Shan

T7 needed a little more time. _One more song perhaps?_ He sighed as he tuned his quetarra’s strings. Most of the time he took requests. It was the best way to maintain cover and not let the patrons in on the fact that he had a droid hacking into the systems trying to get some more information on some weaknesses in the Eternal Empires systems. Or any hint to her whereabouts, but he didn’t want to give them any clues that that was what he was after. He hadn’t had luck so far. He wondered if he was being too careful.

It took a while to learn some of the songs that this crowd actually seemed to like. But if Theron had learned to read the room, he figured that pulling out one of his secret weapons would do the trick that T7 needed. He stroked the beard on his face, frowning as he pulled out a piece of what looked like grey fuzz. He’d wrote this song, but it dredged up memories that made most of his emotion suppressing meditation techniques work in overdrive.

As he started to play, he took a glance around the room. There were a couple zabrak that seemed fascinated by a human that was able to play this instrument. None of them knew the things he had to do to get by after he’d left the Jedi all those years ago. Shaking his head he began in earnest to sing the song he’d written over a year ago over a bottle of whiskey and an old loved red leather coat. One that he still wore. Part of him swore he could still sense her scent on it, but it had felt like years now. 

Kira and Satele had sworn she still lived. It still felt like too much to hope. He kicked himself for allowing himself to get attached, but looking back, he doubted he’d do anything different.

“Stay with me,” she had said to him, that last night on the Defender. “I don’t want to be alone.” He closed his eyes as he tried to focus on the song and not her hazel eyes staring up at him, her arms tight around his back.

As he neared the end of the song, he glanced around the room. A few in the audience seemed moved by the song. _Good, guess I’m not terrible at this. _He heard a beeping in his implants, which he filed away to answer when he was finished. T7 then beeped after that he’d found something, and that was the call that was incoming. He nodded to himself and wrapped up his set, taking the appropriate bow to the audience.

Slinging the quetarra on its strap behind his back he moved to the bar, holding up two fingers to the bartender. T7 beeped again to him that the call was important. Theron sighed and answered the call.

“Theron?” a crisp female imperial voice came through.

He sighed heavily. “Lana, now is really not a good time.”

“You’re going to want to hear what I have to say,” she spoke quickly.

“Somehow I doubt that.

The exasperation in her voice was clear. “Listen. No, really listen. She’s alive.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He frowned and took the glass the bartender put in front of him, sniffed it and swirled the ice in the glass before taking a sip.

“Yes you do. Jyana is alive. And she needs our help.”

Theron stopped mid sip as he felt his heart stop.

_–_

> _Inspired by: [A Late Night Last Minute Request by Window to the Abbey (Troy Baker)](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fopen.spotify.com%2Ftrack%2F6uQCPDgdLJ0zA3dvu6p4fq%3Fsi%3DABEGvdzBRs27heBV05cWEg&t=NjNmYzFhNDM0MWQ2ZjA0YzNiZDM4Njg0NWI1YzQ0NTQyZWIzMGJhNSxPQUxjTUJqdw%3D%3D&b=t%3AoLksXr8wjZ3TblGOQX94BA&p=https%3A%2F%2Fhonekitteh.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F188127090888%2Ffictober-2019-day-4&m=1)_


	17. “There is just something about them/her/him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timeline Setting: Before Shadow of Revan

Theron was halfway through his latest data acquisition when Lana returned to their safehouse on Rishi. It’d been months, felt like years even, they’d been in hiding from not only their own people but the Revanites as well. He reached absently for his mug of caf and took a sip only to look down at it as the now cold liquid betrayed him.

As if sensing his need, Lana handed him a hot cup, which he greedily accepted and took a sip of. She raised an eyebrow at him and waited till he lowered the drink. “I think it’s time,” she said simply.

It took his sleep deprived brain a few seconds to register what she was meaning, then nodded. “Agreed. I’ll start work on getting the coordinates sliced into her ship navigation system.”

Lana nodded to him and took a seat on the floor near a few absently thrown papers and cushions. She watched Theron intently as he worked. 

He’d gotten used to her uneasy yellow eyed stare, but it didn’t entirely change how disconcerting it could be when he wasn’t entirely expecting it. He had work to do. They needed to subtly lure Master Jyana to Rishi to help them uncover the Revanites’ plans. It _would_ be nice to see her again, however Theron had work he needed to focus on.

“There is just something about her,” Lana murmured quietly, breaking the silence.

Theron was slightly startled. “Hm?”

“I can’t exactly put my finger on it, but she’s not what I expected.”

“What did you expect?” He raised his eyebrow and continued working on the console.

“Small but fierce. Almost serene, beautiful even, but not to be underestimated.”

Theron frowned, losing a bit of focus on the task he had set out to do. 

“Have you noticed?”

“Who me?”

“Yes you, silly. I remember seeing how you flushed a few times speaking to her.”

“I did not!” Though despite his best efforts, his cheeks turned a slight shade of pink as he attempted to focus on the computer console.

Lana raised an eyebrow slightly. “If you are not interested, I wonder…”

“I doubt she’d go for it,” Theron snapped quickly, though he refused to turn to look at Lana.

She slightly smirked, “No?”

“She’s a Jedi!”

“I’m pretty sure Jedi do have feelings just like everyone else.”

“But you, her, there’s no way…” he mostly was muttering to himself.

“So you do like her,” Lana stated matter of factly.

“No… I…” Theron flusteredly slammed a fist next to the console he worked on.

“I’m just trying to tweek you,” Lana laughed.

He pouted, “I’m not tweeked.”

“No?”

“It’s nothing like that with her,” he stated. Though somewhere in the back of his mind, he wondered about that. He remembered the glances they’d shared, how she looked at home in his jacket that one night on Coruscant under the stars with good food. He shook his head rapidly. 

“No? Then why do you study her holo image on some nights you think you’re alone?”

“That’s for research!”

Lana held her hands up laughing. “Sure. Did you send it?”

“Of course I did,” Theron huffed. He’d managed to work through his flustered frustration and get the information properly sliced. “Should have been uploaded straight into the computer. So long as Teeseven didn’t manage to counter slice me, which is still a possibility, she should have a direction.”

“Good,” she breathed, nodding. 

Theron raised an eyebrow at her. “What did you do?”

“Tried to reach out to her through the Force.”

“While you were bothering me? Doesn’t that require a lot more concentration?”

“I was done before you were finished.”

“Show off,” he frowned. “Think it worked?”

She nodded. “We will see soon enough I suppose. I do think we need to sort out a cover for her.”

Theron grinned. “Already started work on that.” He walked over to her and handed a data pad down to her.

Lana glanced over it and pursed her lips. “Red Hulls? Cannibals? I somehow really doubt she’d be pleased about this.”

“It’s a cover story at least,” he shrugged. “Jakarro thought it was funny.”

Lana just rolled her eyes and sighed heavily.


	18. “Secrets?  I love secrets.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timeline Setting: Before Forged Alliances

We’d been parked at Carrick Station for about a few hours, but I hadn’t allowed myself a moment of reprieve from the docking procedures on the ship. Mindless work, but honest work. Teeseven never complained about the company. The others had quickly left the ship to deal with business. I didn’t even want to know what Doc was up to. Let’s not even go down that train of thought please. Bad train.

I pinched the bridge of my nose as I walked out of the ship and towards the elevator that went down to the main level. Kira was leaning up against the wall next to the elevator and smirked at me as I came closer. I raised an eyebrow at her, wondering what she was looking so smug about this time.

“So, I just overheard the wildest rumor about Master Satele and I had to share.”

I blinked slowly. “Should we really be engaging in rumor spreading?”

Kira huffed. “I’m only telling you! Come on.”

“Fine,” I sighed, “What’d you hear?”

She almost bounced as she kicked off the wall. “Did you know some people think she had a kid?”

I simply raised an eyebrow and directed her to continue.

“There are people actually believe the Grand Master of the Jedi Order completely broke the rules and ‘formed an attachment.’”

I rubbed my temples and moved to call the elevator. “If you’re trying to find ways to convince me to do something with Doc…”

“Oh please I’d never wish that on anyone. I have taste.”

“Then why would I care if the Grandmaster may have had a relationship in the past?”

“But wait, there’s more!” she continued as we walked into the now open elevator doors, “There are all these wild conspiracy theories too…”

I rolled my eyes, “Here we go.”

“It was a boy, he was raised in secret by one of her old teachers and now he’s an SIS agent.” Kira ticked of the three points on her fingers. 

Shaking my head, I laughed, “You have this odd fascination with secrets.”

“Secrets?” she grinned, “I love secrets.”

“Maybe she, and whoever her son is, wanted it to stay that way?” 

“It is pretty ridiculous, right?”

“Seriously, you hear the weirdest random rumors.”

We exited the elevator and started to walk down towards the supplies vendors. An astromech droid rolled up to us and beeped a brief attempt at getting our attention. I frowned slightly and looked down at him.

_You = act casual // T3-G2 = recruiting for classified operation_

I blinked, looked over at Kira and mouthed, “Act casual?” then turned back to the droid as a holographic image formed before us.

“Ah, just the jedi we were looking for,” said the man on the holo call. He wore a fairly bright red leather looking coat and had very distinctive implants curved around his left eye. I blinked slowly, staring at him, as he continued, “Nice work Teethree. I’m with the SIS. We have a very special event coming up and you’re on the guest list.”

I raised my eyebrow at him. “What kind of special event?”

“The kind the Empire won’t enjoy. Details when we meet in person. See you soon.” And as soon as he had appeared, he was gone again, and I pursed my lips trying to piece together what I had just seen.

The droid continued to beep at us. _Meeting location data = provided // You = maintain operational security at all costs!_

I nodded to the droid in understanding and pursed my lips as I looked over at the data.

“Oh how exciting!” Kira exclaimed, “And he’s pretty cute.”

Without thinking, I returned, “Yeah… he is…”

My former padawan waggled her eyebrows at me as I absently punched the button on the elevator to the meeting location. By the time I noticed her expression, my eyes widened, and I just swatted her.


	19. “Yes, I admit it, you were right.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timeline Setting: Between KotFE and KotET

“Doc always said I had no pazaak face,” I sighed as I pulled off my right sock and plopped my foot back on top my other leg which was propped on top of the pazaak table next to where the cards holographically displayed. I wiggled my toes at my opponent as a way of attempting to prove my point.

Theron pursed his lips, puzzling over his winning hand. “You’re a Jedi, this makes no sense.”

“So you don’t believe me?” I raised my eyebrow at him, “After how many rounds?”

He tapped his lip as he looked me over, lingering on my very naked foot. “Might need a few more…”

“Theron Shan,” I rolled my eyes, “If you just wanted a strip tease, all you had to do was ask.”

“It’s more fun this way,” he grinned at me and started setting up the computer for another round.

“Nar Shaddaa rules against a weaker opponent?” I huffed, “And you call yourself an honorable man.”

Theron put on an expression of mock hurt. “I am completely honorable. I am not taking advantage of you in this state.” He motioned quite emphatically towards the fact he was on the opposite side of the table from me, as well as the fact the table was in between us.

“You’re taking advantage of my weakness.”

“Nonsense,” he said, waving his hands in dismissal, “You’ve only removed five articles of clothing, and you chose all the least scandalous ones.”

While true, I had carefully selected only removing my gloves and boots one by one and just now had removed the first sock, that didn’t negate my own point. “And you’ve lost none. Do you believe me yet?”

He sighed in resignation. “Yes, I admit it, you were right. You have no pazaak face.”

“Can we at least end this charade then?”

“No. We will play until you learn a pazaak face.”

“Or I’m naked,” I deadpanned.

Theron grinned. “Can’t see a downside there.”

I raised my eyebrow at him. “Sleeping on the couch could be a downside.”

He shrugged and leaned back after clicking the console, dealing the next hand. “Worth it.”


	20. "You could talk about it, you know?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timeline Setting: During Shadow of Revan

After the tension in the room started to deescalate, the others began to work their way out of what had been their safehouse for months. I took a deep breath and reached out and placed a hand on Theron’s arm before he left. He turned to me, tilting his head curiously and staring straight into my eyes. I almost startled at the gaze he’d given me and let go of his arm.

Scratching the back of my neck I quickly spoke, “Before we get going, Theron, can you stay for awhile?”

“Of course,” he said, raising an eyebrow and then moving to lean back up against the center table. As if he sensed my sudden hesitation at words, he continued, “Guess you’ll think twice next time a spy asks you out for a “quick chat.” Wouldn’t want to go through all this again.”

“Are you kidding?” I chuckled, propping myself up to sit onto the table next to where he leaned, “This is the most fun I’ve had in a long time.”

He snorted. “I don’t know if I’d go that far, but good company helps.” He studied my face for a few moments. I had drifted to look around the room while fidgeting slightly with my hands. He frowned and asked softly, “Are you alright?”

“Me?” I startled, feeling my cheeks heat up, “Yeah, I…”

“You could talk about it, you know?”

I frowned. “I’m not sure what you mean.”

“The Emperor,” he offered, “You were pretty sure he was dead, weren’t you?”

“I…” I nodded with a sigh, “It’s a long story…”

“I’m listening.” He reached up and brushed my bangs out from covering my eye. I wasn’t too much taller than he was in my sitting position from where he leaned, but more the opposite of normally how I usually had to look up to talk to him. He tucked it behind my ear, which I was certain had turned a shade of pink, and then he let his hand drop back to his side. 

I took a deep breath, trying to not focus on that slight bit of feeling, but instead on the conversation. “I thought I’d killed him. I should’ve known… Scourge felt nothing…” I sighed. “That should have been a sign. But, as usual, we were arrogant. We didn’t have all the facts. Just like…”

“Just like?” he asked softly, his eyes staring deeply into my own.

I blinked and looked down, avoiding his eyes. “The Fortress…”

He frowned slightly, straightening up from where he was leaning on the table and shifting more to stand in front of me.

“I still have… scars… it’s… I can’t…” I gave him a glance up and then back down. “Not now…”

He nodded in understanding, then gave a glance around the room. “I may have mentioned this before, but I’ve never been much of a team player.” He offered a hand to me to help me get down off the table. I took it and hopped down, now where I needed to look up to study his face as he spoke. He continued, “Things usually go better for me when I’m on my own.”

Glad for the change of conversation topic, I raised an eyebrow at him, “Is that so?”

He nodded. “Relying on someone else has been interesting. I’m beginning to think I should’ve started a long time ago.”

“The SIS is a big agency. How’d you end up working by yourself?”

“I like to think they just couldn’t keep up,” he laughed slightly, “The Director probably has a different opinion.”

I laughed as well. “I’m sure he does.”

“Anyway thanks,” he stated, shuffling his feet slightly, but not letting go of my hand, “Working with you has made all this madness worthwhile.”

I flushed and looked down at our hands. “The feeling is mutual.”

His free hand reached up to my face, fingers lightly tracing down my cheek to underneath my chin. He lightly tipped my chin up, forcing me to look at him in the eyes. It was like my heart stopped, remembering moments before I ran off to take down the signal jammer. Where we’d stared at each other like this. Only this time, his slight glance to my lips did not get interrupted by a holo call. This time, he brushed my lips with a finger lightly before replacing it with his own and closing his eyes. 

It was a soft brush of his lips, slightly lingering, and I felt myself responding in kind. It was almost shy, tentative at first, and he pulled back slowly. My eyes hadn’t fully closed and were staring up at him when he opened his. I bit my lip slightly, which caused him to smile before kissing me again.

This kiss though, held none of the reservation or question. No uncertainty. His hand that had held my own let go and wrapped me close to him by my waist, while his other still cradled my face. I wrapped my own arms around his neck. I felt the tip of his tongue test my lips, so I opened my own mouth, deepening the kiss.

I am pretty sure we both lost track of time in that moment. We slowly pulled our lips apart, but our faces remained close together. He smiled, giving me an almost listless look. My cheeks were heated which made him smirk more. He rested his head against mine. “I’m glad we’re on the same page.”

I think I flushed more as I started to retain my focus. I looked down at Theron’s lips and frowned. The cracked part of his lip looked like it had started to bleed. I spoke softly, reaching up to trace the injury, “Did I?”

“Hm?”

“Your lip. It’s bleeding.”

“Oh?” he laughed slightly, reaching for my hand on his lip, “Oh no. You’re fine.” He moved back and kissed my forehead softly. He slowly let me go, as if he was not really wishing to lose the sensation of the contact. Smiling he motioned towards the door of the safe house. “Come on. Let’s go see what Yavin has in store for us.” 


	21. “Change is annoyingly difficult.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timeline Setting: After Rise of the Emperor - Upcoming content for "Countdown"

“I wondered if I’d find you here.”

I looked up from my meditation perch on a bench in front of one of the many waterfalls near the Jedi Temple on Tython. Grandmaster Satele Shan stood behind me, her hands behind her back, face serene yet kind. Grey specks had multiplied in her brown hair since the last I’d seen her. “I suppose I have gotten predictable when I’m on Tython,” I responded and looked back towards the waterfall.

“Everyone needs to find peace on their on time. This seems to be yours.”

I nodded. Looking up at the waterfall, I sighed softly. “Change is annoyingly difficult.”

“There is some peace in predictable routines. Somethings don’t need to change.”

“True enough.”

She allowed silence to linger for a few minutes. I closed my eyes to just listen to the water as it flowed into the streams below. It’d been a few months since Ziost ceased to be a living world. Nightmares still lingered, but they no longer occurred every night. I took a couple trips back to Rishi, going to Master Orgus’ old house and trying to remember the paths that he had suggested I take. Help people out, do the little things. Heal the sick, fix people’s technology so that they don’t get flooded, tiny little things I could do. I kept my ear to the wire though. Tried to follow the reports as they came in. Any hints that another Ziost was in the works. But there had been silence. 

It wasn’t as if Theron had access to that information to forward me right now as it was. Not that he’d reached out to me either.

“The anger seems to have passed,” the Grandmaster said softly.

“There is little need to dwell on what cannot be changed,” I sighed a bit.

“To which do you refer? The Chancellor or Theron.”

I shrugged. “Both.”

“You disagree with his punishment.”

“It isn’t my place,” I said shaking my head, “I am more concerned on the blame he places on himself.”

Satele tilted her head curiously, but remained silent.

“If I could take his burden from him, I would. But it will make him stronger. A better man, I think.”

“You care for him,” she responded softly.

I took a deep breath. “I know what he’s going through,” I deflected, “I bare similar scars I feel.”

She studied me in silence for a moment. “Some scars are necessary.”

“It is our scars that make us. Our pain, our regrets. Our joy, our sorrow. What is, is. What will be, will. We cannot turn back time, and even if we could, would we truly make different decisions?”

Satele shook her head. “No, we wouldn’t.”


	22. "We could have a chance."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timeline Setting: During Shadow of Revan

Kira took a glance behind me. “I’ll go on ahead to scout. See you out there.” She hopped on a speeder and was off before I had a chance to respond. I frowned and turned around, seeing Theron raising an eyebrow at Kira’s speedy exit.

“I only had some further data to give you,” he said, though he smirked a bit as he handed me a data pad. “Just a little more that could help you while you’re out there taking down those locks.”

I sighed a bit and plugged the data from the pad into my wrist computer for easier storage. Kira’s quick exit wasn’t something I had thought I needed or asked for. But now, I could sense I was completely alone with Theron, which probably was all apart of the plan. Though that didn’t bother me as nearly as the impending doom that this whole planet permeated.

To his credit, Theron was not completely oblivious to my mood. “Are you alright?”

I sighed heavily. “Just how many times do I need to stop him from trying to murder an entire planet…”

“You’ve done this before?” he questioned, frowning, then seemed to realize something as he stepped closer to me. “Oh… oh right… I remember. Sorry it’s a bit much to take in.”

“It never stops feeling that way.”

“We don’t have a lot of time,” he breathed, giving a glance around the surroundings before reaching to trace my cheek, “But we could have a chance at stopping this whole thing.”

I flushed, but returned the gesture, tracing my fingers along his implants. “True, we don’t have a lot of time.”

Theron cupped my face and leaned down, kissing me softly, but deeply. He pulled me in closer by my waist and pulled one of my arms around his neck to return the embrace. Even though I had closed my eyes, I could sense he had one eye open, scanning the surroundings, despite the intensity of the kiss. I would be lying if I didn’t admit to doing my own scan, but with the Force as opposed to any conventional methods. Wondered if that was an inappropriate use of the Force, but honestly, this kiss was pretty worth it.

“This isn’t a one-time thing, is it?” I whispered against his lips after he pulled away.

“Doubt it.” He smiled and looked me in my eyes. He lightly moved my bangs out of my eyes and then poked me on my nose, which elicited an immediate wrinkling of my nose reaction that seemed to amuse him. “I’d have told you up front if it was.”

“I er…” I mumbled and looked down, trying to shield the blush that was evident on my face, “I’ve never dealt with any of this stuff before.”

He tilted his head. “What stuff?”

“This…” I took a deep breath and looked up at him, finding his eyes, “You and I…”

“Wait…” he blinked slowly, “You’ve never…”

I frowned. “I … I thought you knew?”

“You’ve never… huh?” Theron still stared at me, his expression hard to decipher. 

“Thought I mentioned it on Coruscant, when you took me to that Street Festival. With the amazing food.”

“That food was pretty great,” he said smiling, his arms still secure around me, “Should go again…” He then frowned, as if something just clicked in his mind. “Oh! Oh yeah. Okay I must’ve missed it or forgot. That was a while ago.”

I smirked at him. “And you call yourself an elite SIS Agent.”

He laughed and poked my nose again. “Pretty sure the Jedi Council does not keep detailed records of the sexual exploits of its membership.”

“True,” I said, nodding. Then I frowned slightly and looked down, my feet fidgeting but not letting go of Theron’s embrace. “They rarely keep any public or even private records of even tangles with the Dark Side.”

“No?” He smoothed out my bangs with a light touch of his fingers before wrapping his arm back around me, gently urging me to bury my head into his chest, holding me tighter. 

“Entire months are missing from some records…”

“Like yours…” he whispered, lightly rubbing my back.

I moved back from his chest and looked up at him, tilting my head. “What do you know?”

“Just that those months are missing,” he said, shrugging, “You went to the Emperor’s Fortress, 6 months later you head to Belsavis and the Emperor’s Wrath is part of your crew…” Then he frowned, furrowing his brow as he worked the data over in his head. He shook his head a few times, as if what he was slowly realizing did not make sense to him, before he stated it aloud. “Wait… You… You fell?”

“I didn’t really have any control over it…” I took a glance to the side, now as if I didn’t want to see his reaction, almost not trusting it. “The Emperor… took over…”

“Oh…” He worked that information through his head. “Oh… Wow uh…” He then tilted my chin back to look at him, tracing my cheek again with his gloved fingertips. “Hey. You’re stronger now. He’s not going to do that again.”

“No.” I pursed my lips, furrowed my brow, and gave a short nod. “No, he’s not.”

He moved my bangs out of my eyes again. “You can feel him here.”

“Everywhere,” I whispered, glancing down, “Yes.”

“I think I’ve kept you too long… we don’t have a lot of time.”

Curse him for being right. I could have stayed in this moment forever. “Yeah.”

He tipped my chin, forcing my eyes up. “Hey, I’m sorry.”

I frowned. “Sorry for what?”

“Distracting you?” He shrugged. “I don’t know. Assuming…”

“I needed the distraction,” I said with a small smile. Then, I bit my lip. “I hope I haven’t scared you off.”

“Scare me off?” He tilted his head. “Why?”

“Because I’ve never…”

“Oh no… No. Never.” He kissed the top of my head and then let me out of his embrace. “Now you should get going.”


	23. “You can’t give more than yourself.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timeline Setting: During Fractured Alliances - Between Umbara and Copero

I’m sure they didn’t think I truly noticed the glances that were sent my way as I walked between various different computer consoles in the command center of the Eternal Fleet. I didn’t keep the throne, it was never my style, but I really did not like having all these automated ships at my command. I never wanted the throne. I sighed and moved to the next console, reading through the varying reports. Trying to keep myself focused on something else, anything else. Anything but what was going through my head in moments of silence.

I looked up from the console I was standing at after T7 beeped at me a time warning. I looked outside the window, seeing the sun dip beneath the mountains. _Now the day bleeds into nightfall_. I pinched the bridge of my nose and looked back down at the scrolling data. 

“T7 = Handle it // Jyana = Get some rest.”

“I’ll be fine, Teeseven,” I muttered habitually.

T7 beeped skepticism but did not push. Something told me that he was used to working with people who did not know how to rest despite needing to. Made me wonder what he’d had to deal with during those five years I had in carbonite. _And you’re not here to get me through it all._ I pinched the bridge of my nose again and stared up at the fleet movements on the holographic display.

“A word, Commander,” Lana spoke behind me, nearly startling me out of my study. 

I nodded to her; pretty sure I knew what she was going to say. I quickly wrapped up the data I had been looking over and followed her out of the control room.

While the amount of sleep between us was non zero, it still was less than adequate. I knew she had been working tirelessly on the same task I had, though I’m highly confident her motivation was different. Her eyes seemed distant for a time, as if she was trying to puzzle out some latest intel.

“Hylo has expressed concern at how much you’re working, Commander,” Lana started, her voice oddly gentle.

“There’s so much to be done.”

“While true, you have plenty of people to delegate to.”

I raised an eyebrow simply at Lana.

“I know, I know, I have gotten the same talk. Dr. Oggurobb wishes to study how much the lack of sleep can impair or improve on our day to day functions as well as trying to find Theron. I’d really like to not give him the inspiration to think we are adequate test subjects.”

I laughed slightly. “I concur.”

“Jyana,” Lana stated softly, placing a hand on my shoulder, “You can’t give more than yourself.”

_I let my guard down._ “It’s all I know.”

“I understand. Believe me, I do. But there’s nothing more you can do right now. Not like this.”

“If I stop…” _And then you pulled the rug._

“You haven’t slept.”

“I can’t sleep… it’s…” _And then you pulled the rug._

“Jyana. I know. Take a walk, a break. Something. Please. I’ll watch things here.”

“Then when I’m back, you’ll do the same?”

“I’m fine.”

I stared at Lana with a raised eyebrow.

“Alright… Alright. Deal.”

I took a deep breath and took my leave of Lana. I went down the elevator on the other side of the cantina and stepped out into the woods. One of the last times I actually took the time to wander the woods I got lost. He’d said then that he’d always be there, waiting for me. 

I closed my eyes and sighed. _I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved._

I pinched the bridge of my nose another time and took a deep breath. Opening my eyes, I took a step into the woods.

\- 

> _Inspired by ["Someone you loved" (Cover, Lewis Capaldi) studio version by Lauren Spencer-Smith](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kd8dat1I4xU)_


	24. “Patience… is not something I’m known for.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timeline Setting: During KotFE Chapter 9

“I want you to know,” Theron lowered his voice and moved closer to me, “I’ll do everything I can to keep things running smoothly around here.”

I raised an eyebrow. “So, you’ll take care of anyone who needs you?”

“Not just anyone,” he said and reached out and took my hand, almost tentatively. I gave him a smile and squeezed his hand. He looked at me and smiled. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there to thaw you out. Look at all you’ve accomplished. Everyone who chose to rally behind you.” He looked down at my hand and closed his eyes for a moment. Taking a deep breath, he pulled my hand to his lips and kissed it lightly then looked up at me into my eyes. “I haven’t been one of those ‘destiny’ people in a long time, but this? Sure feels like it.”

I was pretty sure my face was nearly as red as his jacket. _Was that…? _I took a deep breath and reached to his face, outlining his implants with my fingers. “If you mean being here with you, I agree.”

He reached to my face, pulling me forward, his lips finding mine. At first it was almost rough, then he softened and pulled back, staring me in my eyes. For a moment, it was like we were back on Rishi, that first moment he had kissed me. His eyes were just about as unreadable as they were then, but there seemed to be more there. Wonder, perhaps? Like he wasn’t really sure I was actually there in front of him. But it was hard to tell, because he didn’t seem to like giving my mind a lot of time to wander. 

Almost as soon as the first kiss had ended, he took a breath and he kissed me again, harder, pulling me tight against his body. One of his hands ran down the length of my back and then firmly grabbed my butt. There was an almost guttural growl as his tongue met mine. If I was completely honest, I couldn’t quite tell if it was him or me.

He pulled back slowly, resting his head against mine. “It’s been a long five years…” he breathed lowly, before he moved and kissed just underneath my ear. He placed deliberate kisses along the side of my neck, causing me to shiver.

“Yeah…” The reality of his words took me a little while, but I wasn’t sure. “Er… wait.”

He stopped mid kiss. “Hm?”

“Really?”

“Really what?” He kissed my neck another time and nuzzled me with his nose.

“You…” I bit my lip, “You didn’t…”

He shook his head as he nuzzled my neck, his one hand on my ass holding onto it tightly. It didn’t really take a genius to sort out Theron’s thoughts before he admitted them aloud. He pulled back and rested his forehead against mine. “Patience… is not something I’m known for.”

I smirked at him, snaking my own hands towards his belt. “Well then, we have a choice… give the fine people at the bar a show, or skip the party and go to our, er, my quarters.”

“Our?”

“If you want, I mean…”

“We’ll discuss that later. As to the party, I know my vote,” he said while returning my smirk with his own, “But you don’t want to go to the party?”

I let go of him, which caused him to pout slightly, but beckoned him to follow me. “It’ll be there when we’ve caught up,” I said with a wink.

He grinned. “You drive a hard bargain,” he said and followed me down to my quarters.


	25. “I could really eat something.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timeline Setting: During Forged Alliances - Prequel to "It will be fun, trust me."

I hated meetings at the Senate Tower. I’d been in them all day. I was much more of an action person than a meetings and talk about it person. One would think that would be on my resume and they would plan accordingly.

But no, that would have been too convenient for me obviously. 

I walked out of the Senate Tower and took a look up at the sky of Coruscant. It would be night soon, I could feel it. I also could feel the fact I hadn’t had something to eat since I’d landed. When was that again? Probably 12 hours or so? While there were meditation techniques out there to ignore pain such as those of hunger, it doesn’t really change the fact that I was.

I think I was too lost in my thoughts that the Force decided against alerting me to my surroundings as I ran straight into a person, causing a data pad to fall to the ground.

“I’m so sorry!” I exclaimed and reached down to get it.

“Master Jyana?” a male voice responded.

I blinked as I picked up the data pad. Theron Shan had raised his eyebrow at me and was wearing a very amused smirk on his face. “I er, sorry. I was really lost in my thoughts.”

“I bet,” he laughed and took the offered data pad. “Wasn’t sure if I’d run into you here. Definitely not literally.”

I pursed my lip in irritation at the obvious tease. I sighed and decided to change the subject to business. “How’s our mutual friend looking? Any update from the note you sent me?”

He shook his head. “No update yet, still following a few trails.”

I nodded and a fairly audible uncontrollable stomach growl escaped. I could feel my face and ears heat up and I looked down. So terribly dignified. 

Theron raised his eyebrow again and laughed but didn’t mention my facial expression. Instead he offered, “There’s a street festival the next district over. The food is pretty good. Want to go?”

“If it’s not a problem,” I responded as I scratched the back of my neck, “That … that does sound interesting.”

“Interesting? It will be fun, trust me.”

I raised my eyebrow at him and looked at his outstretched hand. I then took a glance to the speeder bike he was walking towards. I could feel my heartbeat increasing but I wasn’t entirely sure why. I then looked back up at him. “I guess I could really eat something,” I said with some resignation and took his hand. He pulled me up onto the speeder bike with him and guided me to hold onto his waist tightly. I felt the heat in my cheeks rise but I clung onto him as he raced his speeder towards a very busily foot trafficked area of Coruscant.


	26. “You keep me warm.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timeline Setting: During Jedi Under Siege - Hearts and Minds

Throughout my life, waterfalls had always seemed to be a place of healing. The sound of the water rushing over the rocks and into a river or lake below soothed me like very little else could. Whether I had a rough day of training, a moment of downtime after the turmoil of the Fortress or Ziost, or the ever growing loneliness I had felt after the train on Umbara, I had always sought out the quiet peace the waterfalls brought.

Odessen’s waterfalls were perhaps my favorite part of the planet even if the first time I actually got to see them I got lost in one of Valkorian’s tricks. The planet sometimes held the lure of following the Force into places of silence and trial. Running the Alliance didn’t always afford me a lot of time to myself. The only few times prior I had to either steal for myself or be forced upon me for my own health. 

I don’t know why it never occurred to me to actually take someone with me when I wandered some of my favorite regions of the planet. Not till Theron had offered for us to get lost in the woods for a while.

I’d pointed him to this location while we were on the speeder, but instead of waiting for him to slow down and land, I may have jumped off and into the lake underneath the waterfall. I could sense the slight heart attack I gave him, till he sighed and realized I was going to be fine. It wasn’t like I hadn’t done that alone at least a dozen or so times. The first time was about as exhilarating as the last. He really shouldn’t complain though. Thrill seeking was not something that only I occasionally partook in.

“Seriously?” he questioned as he hovered over the water of the lake where I had surfaced after swimming for a short while, “You couldn’t wait for just two seconds?”

I spit a bit of water in his direction and stuck my tongue out at him. “What would be the fun in that?”

He blinked slowly. “What happened to your clothes?”

I pointed to the shore. “They are wet now. So I took them off.”

He worked that thought through his head. The water was fairly clear, so it wasn’t like the fact I was naked was obscured by much. After studying me for a bit, he asked, “Aren’t you cold?”

I raised an eyebrow at him. “Come on in and find out.”

“I assume there are rules to me joining,” he said, frowning.

“Yes. You have to match.”

He studied me again and gave a heavy sigh. Theron drove the speeder over to where I’d left my clothes. Shutting down the engine, he laid out my clothes so they could dry off. I decided to swim and not watch him as he prepared the camp. I swam up underneath one of the two waterfalls that fell into the lake and closed my eyes as I let the water fall over my hair.

“You know, I kind of had a plan,” Theron spoke behind me as he caught up to me under the waterfall.

I raised an eyebrow but did not open my eyes. “Thought you said have a little adventure. Adventure to me implies there wasn’t much of a plan.”

He sighed a bit. “Okay true, I just had a vague few ideas of things we could do.” He reached out and ran a hand along my arm and pulled me towards him. The lake was not so deep in this spot, so my toes still touched the bottom and I allowed him to walk me into his arms.

“Did I throw you off?” I asked opening my eyes and wrapping my arms around his neck.

“A little, though I will admit. I like your idea better,” he grinned, running his fingers down my back and pulling me up against him.

“Do you?” I had planned to look him up and down to confirm whether he had followed my very explicit instructions on joining me in the lake, but I didn’t need to. I could tell from the sensation of his skin pressed up against mine.

“I thought you had an issue with deep water though.”

I shook my head. “I have an issue with Manaan’s deep water. I never had the same one here.”

His right hand rubbed up my arm while his left kept me pulled tight against him by my waist. He glanced down at my body, smirking. “This water is pretty cold though. Are you sure you’re not too cold?”

“You keep me warm.” I grinned at him.

He quirked an eyebrow. “I can think of better ways to keep you warm.”


	27. “Can you wait for me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timeline Setting: Some Indiscriminate Point in the Near Future

I idly watched Theron and T7 put some finishing touches on the shuttle they were preparing to head out on. I shuffled my feet, though I had to admit, I kind of missed being able to stare at them. Things were different now, very different. I wish I could go with them. Anything was better than being confined to the base because Doc was about as paranoid if not more so than the father-to-be.

I also missed getting a sound night of sleep. I mean sure, the small child growing inside me doing backflips and elaborate dance moves of some kind was worlds better than being woken up by nightmares like I had in the past, but that didn’t change how exhausted I was. 

“You alright?” Theron asked as he noticed my very large yawn that I had attempted to conceal. 

I shrugged, “I’m always tired these days. And sore. But I’ve been worse.”

He smirked and gave me a small kiss on the forehead.

“I wish I could go with you. Do something,” I sighed.

“I know, but we’re not exactly sure how in depth this is going to go.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. This requires a subtle approach.”

He grinned at me. “You’re not the best at subtle approaches.”

“Especially not now. I’m more of a whale than a jedi.”

He snorted and rested his hand lightly on my belly. “Nah, you’re not a whale.”

“You’re just saying that because somewhere along the way you found your survival instinct.”

He narrowed his eyes but kept his smirk. Theron then bent down and kissed my belly and rested his head against me. “Can you wait for me?” he asked the small child in my stomach.

“I don’t think it works that way,” I chuckled.

“Well I can hope right? I’d like to be there.”

“You won’t remain conscious for long, if Doc is to be believed.”

“Challenge accepted.” He grinned and stood back up. He leaned in and gave me a deep kiss, before stepping away and heading on the ship. I heard a promise to bring him back from T7 and I just laughed.

I knew that we had a bit more of an audience than just the droid though. Kira’s unmistakable presence was a welcome one, even though I had a great suspicion of what was about to happen.

“Please don’t tell me the over/under on Theron passing out during birth. I know Gault’s cooked some kind of big scheme. I really do not need to know.”

“Oh, that one isn’t as interesting as the over/under for Theron actually making it back in time,” Kira grinned at me.

I rubbed my palm against my face, “Why did I even ask?”

“Not feeling like a good wager?” Scourge raised an eyebrow leaning against the wall behind Kira.

“You too?” I sighed heavily. “I’m not a gambler. Remember, Doc said my pazaak face is terrible. It’s even worse now.”

“Hormones definitely has an effect on such things,” Doc nodded knowingly.

“You don’t need a pazaak face for this,” Kira insisted.

“You all are terrible. I’m going to take a nap.”

But if I was completely honest, no matter how much they exaggerated me, I was really glad I got the gang back together and we remained together after all this time.


	28. “Enough! I heard enough.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timeline Setting: During KotET Chapter 2

Saresh tried to run as soon as she saw me walk up through the crowd of Alliance personnel. She ran into two walls, the first being Lana drawing her lightsaber and the second being Theron with his right blaster drawn.

“I assume you know everything, then,” the twilek stated towards Lana, or perhaps past her, towards me.

I did not care what she had to say. I stalked right up to her, without a word, without even acknowledging the Sith I breezed right past, and I displayed my feelings with actions, punching Saresh square in the face.

Theron seemed amused. He really shouldn’t be encouraging such behavior, but after all those years, dating back even before the fiasco of Ziost, of having to deal with this… _Chancellor_… there’s a part of me that agreed with him that she had it coming.

Something that I might have to make amends for in other ways maybe. Not that there was much of a Jedi Order left to tell me no. There was a part of me that pinned that on _her._ Just like I pinned the fiasco of Ziost on her. How she’d treated Theron, how she treated people who worked for her, how she seemed to think she was above people and knew what was best when she was just a warmonger who couldn’t see past her own hate. She was very much like the people she was trying to take down and she could never see past herself to realize that. 

I feel the rage that I’ve felt deep down for years trying to take hold. Trying to lure me into making a decision I will not be able to take back. I can feel the lure. I took a deep breath. It is okay to be angry. But it is not okay to let that feeling fuel me. Another deep breath.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Saresh responded, recovering from the punch I had landed on her. “It doesn’t matter,” she continued as she straightened back up, “The Alliance needs a leader like me. I saw an opportunity and I took it. I won’t apologize for that.”

Lana growled, “We are well beyond apologies.”

“What do we do with her?” Theron asked, glowering.

“Execution, I expect,” Saresh responded, looking between the three of us, “It’s what Vaylin would do. It’s what I would do.”

_Enough! I heard enough._ I partially wanted to shout. I didn’t need someone else micromanaging this Alliance that rallied around my ability to actually present results against the Eternal Empire. But I took a deep breath, allowing me to acknowledge how angry I was, to just accept it. “That’s the difference between us.” I wasn’t an executioner. I didn’t choose the easy way. “You get to live… though you’ll be in an Alliance prison for a long, long time.” I glanced to Theron and quickly ordered, “Take her away.”

Theron led the guards taking Saresh away and turned around and grinned at me. “You have no idea how happy I am.” 

Lana coughed slightly. I may have had a dumb expression on my face or something, because I got distracted by some vague feeling I’d gotten from watching Theron walk off. I blinked and looked back over to Lana and gave her a nod.

“Empress Acina is waiting for your call, Commander,” Lana stated simply, “We’ll meet you in the war room.”


	29. “I’m doing this for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timeline Setting: During Fractured Alliances | POV: 3rd Person - Theron Shan

“I love you Theron. Come home.”

He couldn’t afford to watch the holo recording like he wanted to. He couldn’t do half the things he wanted to. He was waiting for a contact to return. Instead Theron replayed it over again in his head. He didn’t want to hold onto hope that she’d still love him when his job was done, but a part of him still did. 

“I love you too, but I can’t,” he muttered under his breath, sitting down and running his hand over the back of his head. He wasn’t sure what had possessed him to shave his head in the way he had, but he needed a change of look. It had taken him about a week to get used to wearing a long coat as opposed to the short red one he’d used to. He wasn’t sold on the grey, but it will do for now.

The waiting for intel was the tough part, especially now. When he worked on his own after leaving the SIS, he wasn’t completely on his own. He had T7, who he expected to be also furious with him. He sighed.

Why did everything have to be so complicated?

He’d sent his red coat back to Odessen with a letter, being careful not to leave any traces that they could follow. Theron hoped that Jyana would keep the letter at least to herself. It’d taken him years to even be able to tell her how he felt about her, even longer to realize how long he’d felt that way. He knew he loved her when he thought she was dead, but even when he’d seen her again, he couldn’t just let the word out. But by the time he finally did, he found this threat.

He sighed and rubbed the back of his head. “I’m sorry, Jyana,” he muttered to himself lowly, “I’m doing this for you.” 

Maybe, maybe someday he’d be back in her arms. Maybe she’d forgive him. Maybe she’d understand.

The console he was sitting near began beeping an alert. Theron took a deep breath. Back to work.


	30. “I’m with you, you know that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timeline Setting: Before Onslaught

I stood on the edge of the bridge leading to the Defender. Tora was very emphatic in her diagnosis that the old ship needed at least a couple of weeks before she was flyable again. After all this time, I’d learned to not argue with her about it. Typically, arguing with Tora never ended up well. She was the engineer. If I didn’t trust my specialists, then why were they even here.

The mission I was needed for required a smaller more agile ship, so was going to be one of the Zakuul models that I can use alone. I generally preferred to not go alone and T7 was already prepping the ship. Usually when I was told to go alone, T7 still tagged along and kept the ship safe. Like, I really never went anywhere without my emotional support droid, unless Theron wanted him. We occasionally argued who needed T7 more, if I’m completely honest.

That poor droid. But he never complained.

The breeze across this bridge always took me by surprise and I pulled the red leather coat closed around me instinctually. I was used to wearing a shirt that exposed my stomach, so I’d expected the chill to hit a bit more. I’d prepared a more covered and lightly armored outfit before I headed to help the Jedi on Ossus and was wearing that along with the coat.

“Credit for your thoughts?” Theron spoke as he walked up behind me.

I looked over at him and raised an eyebrow. “If I told you that I didn’t exactly have any deep thoughts at this moment, would you believe me?”

“Probably not, but you also are a terrible liar, so I would eventually believe you.”

I sighed heavily. “Deceit is not the Jedi way.”

“No… no it isn’t,” Theron said, trailing off and looking across the base from the bridge. “Ready for the patrol?”

I nodded slightly. “Hopefully it’s not going to be as large of a thing, but I’ve got my orders.”

“We’ll hold down the fort while you’re gone.” He wrapped an arm around me and kissed the top of my head.

I leaned against his shoulder lightly.

“You do seem apprehensive.”

“Something feels, different this time. I’m not sure what exactly I’m sensing. Like someone is watching, like something big is going to happen, and there’s nothing I can do to pinpoint exactly what.”

“Something with the Jedi?”

“I’m not sure. Haven’t heard much more since I got back from Ossus. Other than Tau getting her portrait drawn. I’m hoping no news is good news.”

He nodded slightly, holding onto me lightly.

“You aren’t worried, are you?”

“You’ve told me numerous times I shouldn’t,” Theron said, shaking his head, “I’ll let you know up front if I have concerns.”

“I almost wish you could come with me,” I admitted.

“I know.” He smiled and turned me to look at him. “They requested you alone. I’m letting you borrow T7 at least.”

I narrowed my eyes. “He was my friend first, you know.”

“And you sent him to keep me company while you were carbonite five years.”

I sighed heavily. “And he stayed with me when you went off the rails.”

“Right, right, no more actual disappearing acts,” he sighed, looking down, “Either of us.”

I frowned. “Sorry, that…”

“No, it’s fine.” He pulled me in and hugged me tight. “I think it’s about time for you to get going.”

I nodded, pulled back from the hug, and gave him a quick kiss.

“Hey, that wasn’t nearly long enough,” Theron responded, his voice lowering.

“If I went any longer, I’d miss the rendezvous, and you know it.” I winked at him.

He leaned down and kissed me longer, slightly deeper, as if to take the challenge and prove me wrong.

“I’ll miss you,” I whispered as he pulled back.

“I’m with you, you know that,” he said, taking my hands and placing them over my heart, “There.” He then adjusted his old coat on my shoulders. “Now get going before I delay you further.”

We let each other go and I could feel his eyes watching me as I walked away and over to the ship I was going to take. I took my seat in the cockpit, pulling off the coat and hung it behind me. I closed my eyes and centered myself for a few minutes, then began the pre-flight procedures.


	31. “Scared, me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timeline Setting: During KotET Chapter 5

Theron left the bridge area of the Gravestone after we’d been in hyperspace for about 10 minutes, leaving the bridge under Koth’s care. He paused slightly at the wall, placing his hand against it while his other pinched the bridge of his nose. His breathing suggested he was trying to find his center, relying on old meditation techniques he hadn’t really had a lot of time for lately.

I watched him for a time, wondering if I should let him have his space or approach him. He was shaking some, though it was muted from many years of training that helped him suppress external expressions of emotions.

_“And I can’t lose you,”_ he had said, hours ago now, but it still rang through my head. We hadn’t spoken since I’d told him to punch it after getting back on the ship. 

He was massaging the bridge of his nose, slowing his breathing. He glanced up, seeing me across the hallway. He frowned and glanced at the wall and didn’t move from his spot. Theron was very clearly focusing his thoughts everywhere but where they were. I could sense him trying to suppress his thoughts, not that I was even trying to peek inside. I thought I’d not given him reason to think that I would even get that nosy.

I took a deep breath and slowly approached him. He didn’t meet my eyes as I stepped up next to him. I took a glance back towards the bridge before looking at him. “We’re all set?” I asked softly.

He gave me a nod. “Should be back on Odessen in a few hours.”

I reached towards his face, but paused at the way he still stared more at the wall than at me. “Theron?”

“Scared, me?” he snarled in response.

I startled and raised my eyebrow, letting my hand drop back down to my side. “Excuse me?”

“You were going to ask me if I was scared.”

“I was?”

“Okay fine,” he snapped, “I was scared. A lot.” He gave me a glance, then his expression softened and he looked down. “I… I’m sorry I…” he sighed heavily, “I can’t lose you again.” Before I could respond he quickly snapped, “And don’t give me that there is no death there is only the Force crap… it’s not helpful.”

I lowered my voice to a whisper. “I wasn’t.”

“Right,” he breathed, “Good.”

I reached out to take his hand. I expected resistance based on the emotions that were radiating off him, but instead he gripped my hand tightly. He pulled it up and placed it against his chest. His heart was beating rapidly. All of his attempts at meditation had not helped settle down his heart. I frowned. “Theron…”

“I nearly died when I heard about Marr’s ship,” he whispered and rested his head against mine. “The slight bit of hope when Kira stopped by and then when Lana said you were alive… then I saw you were dying from carbonite poisoning. And then when Arcann stabbed you. And when you disappeared on Odessen…”

I placed my finger on his lips. “Theron…”

“No, Jyana,” he shook his head and moved my fingers from his lips, despite kiss them lightly, “I need to say this.” He sighed heavily. “I can’t lose you. Okay? I…”

“I know.” I took my free hand and lightly ran my fingers through his hair.

He glanced back up at me. “If anything happened to you, I couldn’t…” He shook his head and took a deep breath. Suddenly, he grabbed hold of my face with both his hands, then covered my mouth with his own. There was a slight groan as he breathed, slipping his tongue in against mine. I could sense a bit of desperation, his fear radiating off of him as he moved closer against me, pushing me against the wall. All my focus was on him, on that moment, and I could feel there was more there. Something he wasn’t telling me. Then it was over, he had pulled back and rested his forehead against mine again. His breath short, he rasped out, “Please don’t ask that of me again.”

I tilted my head slightly, moving so I could look into his eyes. “Theron, you know I can’t promise that,” I said softly, “I…”

He sighed softly and smiled at me. “I know, Jy, I… I just…” he paused and furrowed his brow.

“I’m here now, Theron,” I said softly, running my fingers along his cheek before resting my arm around his shoulders.

He just nodded and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me in tight, and burying his face into my shoulder.


End file.
